Do Narcissists Attract Narcissists? Exploring Power, Ego, and Group Dynamics

While reading Dan Ariely’s Misbelief, I was struck by a section on narcissistic personality disorder (page 219). Almost instinctively, a question formed in my mind: Do narcissists attract narcissists? Is there a gravitational pull between people with similar psychological traits, like the need for excessive admiration, control, and ego reinforcement?

As I read this section, I found myself wondering…

Do narcissists tend to seek out and associate with other narcissists?

To provide a sense of what a narcissist is all about, allow me to share some narcissistic personality disorder traits that frequently define their behavior.  On p.219, Dan Ariely cites the definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder given in the official psychological diagnosis manual, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5). Traits included in the definition are:

• Pattern of grandiosity
• Needs and requires excessive admiration
• Grandiose sense of self-importance
• Exaggerates achievements and talents
• Expects to be recognized as superior without corresponding achievements
• Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success
• A sense of entitlement
• Lacks empathy
• Takes advantage of others for personal gain

Full transparency, this idea didn’t arise in a vacuum. It was shaped by my observation of the Trump administration. From Inauguration Day, I’ve been fascinated by the apparent narcissistic dynamics among many of its prominent figures—individuals who project immense self-confidence, who are drawn to status, loyalty, and mutual reinforcement, and who, in some cases, seem to share narcissistic traits.  The dynamic doesn’t seem accidental. It looks like something deeper: a feedback loop of ego, charisma, and mutual reinforcement.

Exploring the Hypothesis

After some research, I learned that my instinct might not have been so far off. Psychologists have studied a phenomenon called assortative mating, which refers to the tendency for individuals to pair up with others who have similar traits. While it’s often discussed in the context of values, interests, or even education levels, it appears that narcissistic traits can also draw people together.

In one study published in Personality and Individual Differences, researchers found that individuals high in narcissism often preferred romantic partners who also scored high in narcissism. While romantic relationships aren’t a perfect mirror of professional or political alliances, the core idea—that like can attract like—seems very much alive.

This opened another door for me: it’s not just about personal relationships. In environments where power, status, and loyalty are highly valued, narcissistic individuals may recognize and even admire those same traits in others. Rather than clashing (as one might assume two giant egos would), they may find common ground in their shared worldview: a belief in their own superiority, and a hunger for recognition.

Group Dynamics and Echo Chambers

Taking it a step further, I stumbled across the concept of collective narcissism. This is when a group—not just an individual—develops an exaggerated sense of its own greatness and demands admiration from outsiders. Collective narcissism can show up in political movements, corporations, even sports teams.

In these groups, mutual reinforcement can create an echo chamber, where admiration flows within the circle, criticism is treated as betrayal, and outside voices are dismissed or attacked. It’s a powerful dynamic, and one that seems to strengthen the bonds among those inside.

It’s not necessarily a calculated conspiracy. Instead, it might simply be that people with similar traits and needs naturally find each other, build each other up, and form alliances that seem, from the outside, almost magnetic.

But there’s an interesting twist to consider here:
If narcissists are so self-focused and competitive, why would they ever bond together at all?

When Similarities Should Repel… but Don’t

At first glance, it seems odd that individuals so focused on their own importance would find harmony with others who share the same self-centered traits. Wouldn’t they see each other as competition? Wouldn’t the need to dominate and be admired cause friction rather than connection?

Interestingly, research and observation suggest otherwise. While narcissists often compete for attention in many settings, they also share a deep need for validation and status. When surrounded by others who mirror their own desires—and when admiration can be pooled rather than fought over—alliances can form. 

It’s less about pure collaboration and more about mutual benefit: each person amplifying the other’s grandiosity, reinforcing the group’s collective sense of superiority, and, in a way, protecting their shared ego investment. Rather than competing for the same spotlight, they sometimes join forces to build a bigger stage.

A Closing Thought

At the end of the day, I’m not claiming to have definitive answers—just observations.
Maybe narcissists do attract other narcissists. Maybe ego and ambition, when combined, create bonds as strong as any other force. Or maybe, in high-pressure environments, those with the thickest skins and the loudest voices are the ones who naturally rise to the top, bringing others like them along for the ride.

Whatever the case, I find it fascinating to watch these dynamics unfold—and even more fascinating to recognize how human psychology shapes the world far beyond the therapist’s office.

Sources and Further Reading

• Ariely, Dan. Misbelief: What Makes Rational People Believe Irrational Things. HarperCollins, 2023.
• American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.), 2013.
• Campbell, W. Keith, and Jean M. Twenge. The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press, 2009.
• Fatfouta, R., Gerlach, T. M., Schroder-Abé, M., & Merkl, A. (2015). Narcissism and interpersonal self-regulation during romantic relationship initiation: A dyadic approach. Journal of Personality, 83(4), 451–463.
• Kohut, Heinz. The Analysis of the Self. University of Chicago Press, 1971.
• Maccoby, Michael. “Narcissistic Leaders: The Incredible Pros, the Inevitable Cons.” Harvard Business Review,January 2000.